Slasher Summer: Michael Myers' Top 10 Best Kills
Like it or not, slasher film connoisseurs enjoy watching people get killed in brutal, horrible ways. Maybe there's an innocent catharsis to be found in it, a counter-intuitive psychological release that comes from desensitizing oneself to death. Regardless of why, though, violent murder is the blood and viscera that binds all these franchises together, including the Halloween series. While Michael Myers doesn't relish in creativity, irony, or shocking amounts of gore the way his contemporaries do, he certainly has a spectacular flair for homicide. When deciding which kills are his best, therefore, one must weigh their meaningfulness, their iconography, and how long they last in your memory. I don't want to imply that there are people who deserve to be slaughtered by a supernatural serial killer, but Michael gets bonus points when his victims get what's coming to them.
#10.
WILL BRENNAN
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later
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#10.
WILL BRENNAN
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later
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A dorky private school teacher and Laurie's adult love interest, Will Brennan (Adam Arkin) is stabbed by Michael after accidentally shooting the school's sole security guard (LL Cool J). This is significant in that Laurie had chosen to trust Will with her secrets only a few hours earlier, allowing him into her world of pain and trauma. When Michael holds the man's spasming body aloft in front of her, Laurie's guilt for not acting sooner drives her to bring the axe to her homicidal brother later in the film.
#9.
ISMAEL CRUZ
Halloween (2007)
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#9.
ISMAEL CRUZ
Halloween (2007)
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Ismael Cruz is the most sympathetic and compassionate character in 2007's Halloween. Played by a surprisingly low-key Danny Trejo, Ismael acts as the incarcerated Michael Myers' only friend, puts up with the racist slings and arrows of his coworkers, and never wavers in his belief that Michael is still a human being deserving of basic dignity. When Michael makes his escape, then, it is especially shocking that he spares no mercy for the man who believed in him so faithfully. After beating him and half-drowning him in a sink until he was coughing up copious amounts of blood, Michael grabs a heavy television set and drops it on Ismael's head, all while the kindly older man pleads for life. This moment is critical for the film, because it demonstrates that there is nothing human or redeemable left in Michael Myers.
#8.
NURSE KAREN BAILEY
Halloween II (1981)
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#8.
NURSE KAREN BAILEY
Halloween II (1981)
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Karen Bailey is a naughty nurse. After showing up late for work, she gives in to the advances of the horny and fairly disgusting ambulance driver, Budd (Leo Rossi), and while on the clock, she goes skinny dipping with him in one of the hospital's therapy tubs. Naturally, this means she must die, but rather than just stabbing her--which would be too boring--Michael sneaks over to the controls and sets them to ludicrous highs that void the manufacturer's warrantee. After dispatching Budd off-camera, Myers then grabs Nurse Bailey by the hair and begins drowning her in the now-boiling water. We get to see her skin slough off as she simultaneously drowns and scalds to death, and we should note that, even though he puts his own hands in the water as well, Michael comes out unscathed in a subtle bit of foreshadowing for what will happen to him in the climax.
#7.
ATTENDANT J. BLACK
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
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#7.
ATTENDANT J. BLACK
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
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While riding in an ambulance as part of a prisoner transfer, the seemingly comatose Michael Myers overhears the attendants mention the fact that he has a niece. Naturally, this gives him a mission, and so he sits upright and begins to slaughter everyone in the vehicle, starting with Attendant J. Black. This death is notable because it's Michael's first kill in nearly ten years, and because it's so memorable in its bizarre violence. Michael thrusts his finger into the attendant's forehead, just above the eye socket that would have been far easier to penetrate. It's a twisted visual that demonstrates Myers' inhuman strength and blind rage.
#6.
NURSE OCTAVIA DANIELS
Halloween II (2009)
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#6.
NURSE OCTAVIA DANIELS
Halloween II (2009)
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Arguably the most disturbingly violent death in the entire canon, Nurse Daniels' death is technically not real because it takes place during an extended dream sequence. Still, it's memorable for its shock value, as the nurse walks in front of Laurie nonchalantly, turns, and then notices her face has been viciously sliced open. She screams like a wild animal as blood flows down her front, and then Michael enters the scene to finish what he started, stabbing her so brutally and mercilessly that it leaves blood splatter everywhere. It's an unpleasant, prolonged sequence, but so iconic that Michael's pose during the killing wound up on all the posters and the cover of the home video releases.
-e. magill 5/25/2017
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