Slasher Summer: Jason's Top 10 Best Kills - Page 2
#5.
DR. CREWS
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
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#5.
DR. CREWS
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
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Bad News Crews is probably the worst psychiatrist in the history of film. He's a weasely, manipulative prick who isn't afraid to use the mother of his patient as a human shield when Jason comes calling. That makes his death all the more crowd-pleasing, especially with how it's drawn out by a chase through the dark woods. Did I mention that Jason is weilding a motorized tree trimmer, its blade whirring away and its engine spewing smoke? When the blade finally sinks into the doctor's belly, I can still hear the echo of all those cheers from The New Blood's theatrical run.
#4.
JULIUS GAW
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
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#4.
JULIUS GAW
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
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The most ridiculous and nonsensical kill on this list, Julius Gaw's death is easily one of my favorite moments in any slasher film ever. Julius is an all-American teen boxer who finds himself on a rooftop in Manhattan, face-to-face with an undead and superhuman Jason Vorhees. Not one to back down from a fight, he swings his fists, landing blow after blow. Jason stumbles back a bit, but really, the hits don't seem to hurt him. This goes on for several long minutes before Julius finally wears down, his punches no longer hitting their mark. Knowing he's done, the young fighter--wearing his best red, white and blue jumpsuit--resigns himself to his fate and says, "Go ahead. Take your best shot... motherf***er." Jason, satisfied, takes a single swing, knocking Julius' head clean off his shoulders and off the rooftop, where it bounces down into a dumpster, the lid slamming shut as Julius' skull lands with a crash. If that isn't cinematic gold, I don't know what is.
#3.
MARK JARVIS
Friday the 13th Part 2
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#3.
MARK JARVIS
Friday the 13th Part 2
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You've gotta feel for this guy. An all-star athlete who is still "in training" despite being confined to a wheelchair after an unspecified accident, Mark is kind, humble, and very likeable. He is genuinely surprised when one of the girls at the camp shows obvious attraction and practically begs him to sleep with her, and you can see him, with childlike wonder in his eyes, marvelling at his good fortune. As he prepares to get laid, he wheels himself out onto the deck of the main cabin and waits, only to get greeted by a machete to the face and a long ride backwards down a ludicrously long flight of stairs. This is the death that really proves that Jason doesn't discriminate, killing even when his victims are helpless, disabled, and grinning from ear to ear.
#2.
JUDITH WILLIAMS
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
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#2.
JUDITH WILLIAMS
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
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A favorite of the legendary Kane Hodder (who plays Jason in four films), Judith William's death is notable for its remarkable simplicity. She's in a sleeping bag, so Jason grabs the end of it, holding her within, and slams it against a tree. It demonstrates Jason's inhuman strength and simple brutality, and it shows the audience something they'd never seen before. Granted, the MPAA had the scene cut down excessively--it originally had Jason slamming the bag against the tree multiple times, with blood splashing out as he went--but it's actually more effective for me when it's just one hit. I especially love the sound of it, when you hear Judith screaming, the thud, and then silence.
#1.
JACK BURRELL
Friday the 13th (1978)
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#1.
JACK BURRELL
Friday the 13th (19780
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Another impossibly iconic death, this is the one copied more than any other. Jack Burrell (a young Kevin Bacon) is lying on the bottom bunk, post-coital. His girlfried is in the shower; his best friend is lying dead in the bunk above (unbeknownst to him, of course); and a remarkably patient Pamela Vorhees is lying under the bed with a spear. Logistically, she must have been down there while sexy fun times were happening just over her head, but that's not important. What's important is that she reaches up, grabs Jack's forehead, and thrusts the spear up through his throat. He tries to scream, but all that comes out is a wet gurgle. It's a technically impressive practical effect, and it plays to the primal fear that there's something under your bed just waiting to strike.
Jason is a perfect avatar for how young teenagers view the outside world. It's no coincidence that campgrounds are his home, as that's where many teens--especially those of the time--first get to spend a significant amount of time away from the watching eyes of adults. Of course they're going to be obsessed with sex and parties, but just under the surface, they know that adulthood is out there, stalking them, ensuring that the good times are destined to end. Sure, they can delight in Jason's brutality and amuse themselves with his creative flair for ridiculous violence, but at the same time, they are all secretly afraid of him. He attacks without rhyme or reason, and no teen is truly safe. In the end, they all must die, which for a teenager, is basically the same thing as the alternative: becoming a responsible adult.
-e. magill 6/29/2017
THE UNAPOLOGETIC GEEK'S
SLASHER SUMMER: | |
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